Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

Santa, one year ago

I've been enjoying seeing all the 'last year at St. Lucy's' photos on everyone's blogs, so here is ours! Melinda was five weeks old when this photo was taken. (If we get it together enough to see a Santa this year I'll update this post with a 'and now' photo!)

Back to work, can you tell?

My family leave came to an all-too-soon end just before Thanksgiving, causing the last month to streak past me before I had a chance to catch my breath. Thanksgiving came and went, without any acknowledgment on this blog. But we did celebrate and gave thanks for all our dear children, near and far. Melinda greeted her new country's holiday with gusto - loving every little bit of the Thanksgiving dinner that was put before her. (She ate turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, and pumpkin pie.) Alex, on the other hand, ate cranberry sauce, calling it 'strawberries'. We tried offering him ketchup for his turkey, but he merely licked off the ketchup and left the turkey. This picky eater stuff is a first for me. That boy is always expanding my parenting skills! Now we're gearing up for Christmas and New Year's. We'll have a house full - and I'm looking forward to the mayhem!

Melinda is now 13 months old. In a week she will have been with us for a full 3 months. It's hard to believe it's been such a short time. She's settled in so completely it feels like she's been with us since day one. She is a doll baby! She's sprouted three new teeth in the last couple of weeks (going from 7 to 10) and expanded her vocabulary. She's now saying hi, Mama, Dada, go (which really comes out ga and is usually spoken with the pacifier firmly in place between her teeth and her arm outstretched in the direction she wants to be carried) and hot (which she uses appropriately when standing too close to the oven as I try to remove hot pans while simultaneously keeping her from getting any closer than she already is). Here's a photo taken at exactly 13 months, on Dec. 5th.

How we spent our weekend

This past weekend was our final Parents Weekend with daughter #3. I can't believe she is graduating from college in May! So we trucked ourselves to southern California to spend some time on campus with her. With two little ones in tow, we decided not to make the drive all in one day and left late in the day, stopping at a hotel for the night a bit more than half way there. We had a nice visit on campus, but while we were there the wildfires in LA closed the route home, so we had to decide - stay until the road is open or find an alternate route. We chose to take the coast road home, which nearly doubled the length of the return trip and necessitated yet another night in a hotel on the way home. It also meant that we spent alot of hours in the car, every day of our time away. Suffice it to say Melinda is not the traveler that Alex is. She did not like being in the car seat in the dark, nor when the sun was streaming in her window. It made for an unhappy camper a good part of each drive. When she wasn't unhappy she was napping, thank goodness. We'll wait until she's a bit older to take her on another car trip I suspect.

Halloween Photos

We've had a request for Halloween photos, so here you go, Jill! Followers of the blog will recognize the outfit Melinda wore this year...Alex has worn it the last two years. I think we got our money's worth. Which is more than I can say for this year's costume. I purchased a skeleton costume for Alex that he refused to wear, so we punted. He's in the suit he wore to Jill's wedding last October (2007). Still fits around him, though it's all a bit short! With a pair of sunglasses he's transformed into one of the Men In Black.

The Dalmation costume is on its way to NH. Ella and her Auntie M are swapping Halloween costumes...you'll be able to see this Dalmation again next year on Jill's blog.

I'm trying something new with photos and have created a slideshow on Photobucket. Click on the photo below for the full slideshow:

Birthday Girl

Melinda Hui-Min is 1 year old today!
Happy Birthday, baby girl!

My busy girl

We've been home with Melinda almost 5 weeks and in that time she has blossomed. She is a BUSY little girl, determined to keep up with her 3 year old brother, into EVERYTHING she can stretch her little self to reach. She studies everything we do - how to make coffee, how coffee brews, how to load the dishwasher, how to remove everything from the dishwasher, how to remove toilet paper from the roll. Then practices what she has studied. She smiles and giggles and laughs regularly. She is so proud of her every accomplishment.

In the early days of agreeing that sleep had its benefits, she demanded that I stay with her while she fell asleep. It took me a few days, but eventually I realized I could sit and read while I waited for the eyes to close. This revelation coincided with the arrival of a fabulous book, Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home, from Birth to Age Three.

Alex is thriving at his Montessori school and this book set me to implementing Montessori practices at home. We've remodeled their room - removing the bed and crib and installing a child bed for them to sleep on. There are a couple of low shelves, with a few playthings on them, which are safe to explore when they are alone in their bedroom. In addition to the room remodel, I have been allowing Melinda to do many things for herself - things I would have thought she was too young for the past. She is learning to drink from a small cup, holding her own spoon at meals, sitting on a small chair at the small table where Alex eats during snack time. I'm carrying her a lot less than I might have. I put away all the toys that were not being played with, to reduce the clutter and make for a more peaceful and inviting space. Melinda spends most of her time these days working on open/closed and in/out - opening things and putting things into the open container, closing the container, opening the container and taking things out of it. So the Tupperware drawer contains everything she needs. The basic idea for the Montessori baby is to encourage self-confidence by encouraging self-sufficiency, rather than encouraging dependency by sending the message that Mom needs to do everything for you. It in no way detracts from the attachment and bonding work that we're also doing in these early weeks at home. In fact, I think the joy she gets in mastering new tasks has helped her relax and that has helped her bond well with us. It's an interesting shift in mindset, from the mom who takes care of everything to the mom who supports their growing abilities to do for themselves. But it is one that I can see is already, in a couple of short weeks, giving her a firm foundation for the years to come.

The Fog is Lifting

We've been home for 12 days now and, hallelujah, things are starting to settle into the new normal. Last week was grueling. For our first five days home we had two toddlers on Taiwan time - sleeping away the day and up all the night. We finally got Alex back on California time by getting him up for school at 7:30 one morning, despite the fact that he'd only gone to bed at 4am. He suffered through a tired day at school, but from then forward was back to his regular 9pm bedtime. Our new daughter was terrified of her new life, and clung to me in desperation, hysterical if I so much as attempted to set her down. She'd get tired, fall asleep, awaken as I laid her in her crib and scream if I did not pick her up. She'd get over tired, fighting sleep, fearful of what might happen while she was sleeping. We saw alot of movies in those first days home - late late late into the night. Then we'd sleep from dawn until mid-afternoon. It was exhausting. Gradually the 5am bedtime shifted to 4am, then 3am, then 2am. On Monday (10 days home) a miracle occurred. Melinda woke up at 7am, and took a short morning nap mid-morning. Then a longer afternoon nap. Then fell asleep at 8:30pm....and slept until 5am! All three times, she went off to sleep calmly and without a fuss. On Tuesday she repeated this new-found ability to go off to sleep without a battle for two naps and bedtime at 8:45. Today we've repeated our new, wonderful, happy, mommy-pleasing schedule. Now that she's getting the sleep she needs, she's a happier baby. And with a full night's sleep, my sanity has returned!

She has been delightful to be with now that she is relaxing and able to be herself. Last night I saw the first inkling of what she will bring to Alex's life. She discovered the DVD player (yes on a low shelf at a perfect height for baby button pressing). So I brought a large piece of cardboard in from the garage, thinking to fashion a 'cover' that would render the DVD player less appealing. As soon as I laid it on the floor, she was all over it. She thought I'd found a new plaything. Alex is a very cautious child. He will reach toward something that he would like to have, but will wait for permisison before touching anything. He's always been like that, probably because of his low-vision, he's never really sure what something is, even if it seems like it might be interesting. Without encouragement he would never show any interest in a piece of cardboard. But as soon as his little sister started walking, jumping, sitting and rolling on it, he came along for the ride and was all over it with her, without waiting for anyone's permission. It warmed my heart to see him spontaneously join in the play with her. May she bring many such moments of spontaneous joy to his life as they grow up together.

And on a sad note, our camera stopped functioning two days after we arrived back in California. The lense, which is stuck half-way between in and out, refuses to budge, so turning the camera on/off gives us only a E18 error. Here is one of the three pictures we took at home before the camera's demise. A new camera is on my 'to do' list.

One of Melinda's first days at home

We're Home

Walked in the door shortly before midnight Friday night. It's good to be home and we're ready to start the hard work that is adjusting a baby to a 15 hour time change (not to mention the jetlag adjustment for all the rest of us!). Alex is still on Taiwan time. The rest of us are probably also still on Taiwan time, but are pretending to easily adjust.

The flight home was long, but not terribly difficult. China Airlines moved us to a bulkhead row upon checkin (thank you!!!!), which gave us floor space and a bassinet. Melinda slept quite a bit in the bassinet, and Alex stretched out on the floor at our feet. The rest of us didn't stretch out much, but we all managed to sleep some during the flight. The last couple of hours seemed endless. Then the New Immigrant line at customs was at a standstill. I thought we'd never get out of the San Francisco airport. We made it home just before midnight (after two stops on the way homen- one for formula and one for burgers).

I've got some 'home at last' photos but they're still in the camera...will post them soon.

We've been to Tainan

Monday was Forever Family day for us and Melinda Hui-Min. We arrived at St. Lucy's shortly after 10am (closer to 10:30, actually) and had her in our arms before 11. We took the high speed train down from Taipei. The train was amazing. It took no more time than flying when you factor in all the time in the airport. And was so much easier than navigating airports these days. Last time we spent a few days in Tainan before gotcha day, but this time we went down and back in the same day, which meant our suitcases could stay in one place. It worked out really well.

This time I knew to bring a going home outfit for the baby, and so when we arrived they asked for her clothes. Fifteen minutes later, there she was! She's a peanut but already mobile. As in walking. At 10 months. Yikes. She's afraid of strangers but has handled the transition unbelievably well. She's in my arms and as long as she stays there she's a brave little girl. Dad is anxious to hold her, but is being very patient as he waits for her to be ready for another new set of arms. We were at St. Lucy's until shortly after 1pm. It was wonderful to see everyone again and to see the new facility. When we were here in late 2006 they were still in their original building, so this was a whole new experience for us. Alex was a huge hit. They were happy to see how much he's grown and what a happy little boy he is. Here are some photos from the day.

Melinda Hui-Min meets her mom and dad

The briefest of moments in dad's arms. We'll treasure this one, she hasn't let him hold her since.

Melinda meets her biggest brother


What? She's walking?!

Back in the hotel in Taipei she discovers big brother Alex has some fun stuff to steal

We're in Taipei

We arrived in Taipei early Friday morning after a long flight from SFO. It's been two days of getting adjusted to the time. Lots of naps on Friday. One big long nap yesterday....but I think we'll make it through today with no nap at all. Alex is doing really well with the travel. He slept well on the flight over and has been enthusiastic about all the trekking around we've done in Taipei.

Yesterday we rode the MRT all over the place. Alex loved it and is eager to be riding the train again today. But today we left the stroller at home and opted for a cab instead. After breakfast we spent some time at the jade market. Now we are spending the afternoon in our air conditioned room. It has been unbearably hot, which, I will say without naming names, is making some of us a little cranky.

Tomorrow we will take the high speed train from Taipei to Tainan and finally meet our little girl! In less than 20 hours we'll have her in our arms!

Happy Birthday Alex Chien-Lu

Today is Alex's 3rd birthday! Happy Birthday big guy!

Alex, 4 months

Alex, 3 yrs

Final Decree!

We have a final decree. Melinda Hui-Min officially joined our family on August 18, 2008. Welcome baby girl! We will shower you with love and the companionship of siblings as you grow into adulthood. I can't wait to hold you in my arms.

Thank you Judi!

How do you like the new look? Judi, of Doodlebug Designs, through Blogovers With Love has added some pizzazz to my blog. Thank you Judi!

Travel News!

First view of Taipei, at dawn July 2006

Finally! We got the call I have been anxiously awaiting for the last three weeks. We will be at St. Lucy's to pick up Hui-Min on Monday, September 22nd. I can finally book airline tickets. Yay! It's been an anxious few weeks. Ever since we heard about our first decree I felt like we'd be traveling the week of 9/22, but our agency discouraged me from making reservations until we had a confirmed date with St. Lucy's. With each passing day of no news, I got increasingly out of sorts. This Tuesday I had convinced DH to just book tickets for a two week trip, figuring that our appointment just HAD to be sometime between Sept. 22 and Oct. 2. He almost did it, but in the back and forth of trying to figure out how to use frequent flier miles with British Airways partner airline, Cathay Pacific, for one of the four tickets we need, the seat that was available was taken. So we were no closer, despite my desperate attempts to move forward. Back in July, when our dossier was FedEx'd to Taiwan, I put it in my head that I wanted some news by August 28th. This is the 2nd anniversary of our first decree in Alex's adoption case. It is also the 3 month anniversary of our referral. It just felt right. And by golly, it came to pass that we got the news I've been waiting for late in the afternoon. Now, I'm usually the last person to accurately predict anything. Give me a 50/5o chance, and I'll ALWAYS pick the wrong 50. So while I had high hopes for today, I really had no expectation that my hopes would actually be realized. So when we hadn't heard anything by noon, I figured it wasn't going to happen. With Taiwan 15 hours ahead of us, our agency usually gets its news from St. Lucy's first thing in the morning. By noon Pacific time it's the middle of the night in Tainan, so if you haven't heard by noon, you're not likely to. It turns out that it just took some time to get to the phone to make the call. I'm fine with that. I'm so fine with not having to wait through the long weekend. Our tickets are booked. Hoorah!

Cupcakes!

I've been spending alot of time knitting lately. Mostly gifts for others. But in the last couple of weeks I've turned my attention to knitting with a purpose: to help bring Hui-Min home. I've stocked my Etsy shop with some adorable knitted cupcakes. The first half dozen have been set aside for Hui-Min and Ella - special 1st birthday gifts for my two favorite nearly-one-year-olds. The others I am selling as an adoption fundraiser to help defray some of our travel costs. If you have a wee someone who would enjoy pretend tea parties complete with life like treats, please consider purchasing some!

Did I say end of August?

Before I had even made it into work this morning we received a call from our agency. We have a first decree! We'll be traveling to Taiwan in September to bring her home!!! Wow! That was fast. Happy Birthday to me. It was a great birthday surprise.

August update

We received new pictures and an update on Hui Min today. She's 17.86 pounds and 27.17" long. So I guess it's back into the box with those 6-9 month clothes I thought I was going to be able to use (she was so tiny three months ago!). She was 9 months old yesterday and is right on target for height and weight. We're told she is very active, very independent, likes to crawl everywhere, and is very curious. Our update also said she can stand up or sit down holding something - looks like she's getting some practice at that on the side of her crib.

We also learned that our case entered the courts on July 23rd. Which means we've been in court for two weeks now. Which means if we speed through court as some people have been lately, we could have our first decree by the end of August. We're hoping so!!

Phew, finally...

...we had fun!

We seem to have reached a milestone. Last Saturday we spontaneously headed into the ballpark for an early evening San Francisco Giants game. Alex had had a nice long nap, so was well rested, and it showed! He loved the two train ride in (BART to downtown San Francisco, then the light rail to the ballpark) and was cheerful and happy the entire time we were out. He outlasted his Mom, who found it necessary to doze on the train ride home while he continued to hoot and holler....a new skill he picked up at the ballpark. It was nice to see him enjoy himself - this was one of the first times he hasn't been uncomfortable in a loud and raucous crowd. I think he's moved out of 'toddler' and into 'little boy'! Now if we could only get him out of diapers.

It's out of our hands

Well, technically it was out of our hands on June 10th, when we turned in the last of the notarized documentation to our agency. But today we breathe a sigh of relief with the news that our dossier was FedEx'd to Taiwan yesterday! Now we wait to hear that it's been submitted to the courts in Taiwan....which could be news that is some time in coming. Updates on the court process are few and far between. While we waited for Alex we learned that we'd entered the courts, then heard nothing more concrete about it until we heard about our first decree months later.

In the meantime, we're enjoying the summer in California. Alex starts summer session #2 at his new school next week. I heard yesterday that he's 'feeling more comfortable' in school...which actually translates to 'is no longer doing what we ask him to do'. Ah, that's my 'spirited' boy!

June/July update

Woo Hoo! We received new measurements and pictures of Hui-Min this week. At just over 7 months she was 26" long and 15 1/2 pounds. She looks like she might also be teething, don't you think?

Happy 4th of July

We enjoyed a family & friend filled weekend in and around the pool. Check out Alex's new found swimming skills.

Adoption Update

It's been 5 and a half weeks since we received our referral and we've been waiting for word that our dossier was at least on its way to Taiwan before posting anything more. (Although you'll notice I added her picture to the blog header some weeks ago!)

We submitted the last bit of the dossier (notarized health forms) on June 10th. Since then, our dossier has been sent to the translator, then sent to TECO for authentication. Rumor has it that it will be leaving for Taiwan this coming week. I hope so! I don't have any idea how long it will take to get entered into the courts in Taiwan....but I am hoping that will happen before July is over. It feels like we're running in place.

Since I haven't officially posted referral pictures, here they are! Introducing our youngest daughter, Hui-Min, born Nov. 5, 2007.

March, 2008


April 2008


May 2008

Our last update was a few weeks ago. (We're due for a new one!) At that time she was just over 7 months old, and weighed 14 pounds. She is now 8 months old and we're eagerly awaiting our next update.

Happy Fathers Day

Wishing everyone a happy day with those they love!

Musically inclined

I was headed down the hall with laundry in my arms when I discovered Alex having his first guitar lesson. Of course I had to stop in my tracks and run for the camera.

it's all good

Sometimes life goes along exactly as you expect. You make a plan, you execute the plan, you complete the task. Sometimes, it doesn't. Over two years ago we embarked on an international adoption journey. Two journey's, actually, one in Taiwan and another in China. We envisioned two similarly aged children with similar ethnic backgrounds but from two very different countries with two very different adoption processes. Our Taiwan journey had its beginning and its middle and Alex joined our family in October, 2006. Our China journey took a different direction. We've waited (with many many other prospective parents) as referrals in China have taken longer and longer. I haven't said much about our China adoption on this blog because there hasn't been much to say. We submitted our dossier in May, 2006. Since then we've simply waited in a long line, inching closer to the front, where referrals are made, each month since. Since June, 2006 the wait has gone from about 8 months to more than 24 months. Those in the front of the line right now had their paperwork accepted on January 12th, 2006. So I could have been writing about it, but all I would have had to say was 'we're still waiting.' But now, I have something more to say.

This week our wait in China came to an end when we instead accepted the referral of a little girl in Taiwan. It is a twist in our journey we couldn't have foreseen when we started this process, but one that is all good. We are delighted to be returning to Taiwan, Alex's birth country. Knowing that he and his new sister will share not only a common country, but also a similar birth and adoption story feels very very right to us. We're scrambling to finish the paperwork that needs to be gathered for submission to the Taiwan courts. Once that's done, we'll be waiting for court proceedings to take place and ultimately, a travel date!

(And just as soon as we can we'll share a photo or two.)

still a super traveler

Alex eats grapes in a hotel room in Connecticut,
holding Salty for good measure.

Alex and I were on another major cross-country trip this past month. First a business trip in Washington DC, then on to visit friends and family in Virginia, Pennsylvania and Connecticut. As usual Alex was a terrific traveler. While I worked Alex and big sister Kerry rode the train and visited the zoo (7 times in 4 days). Alex became an expert at unlocking the hotel room, inserting and removing the plastic card key, calling the elevator, guessing which elevator door would open first, and generally going with the flow.

on into Spring

A busy couple of months left us with no time to blog, but finally we have a quiet afternoon to catch up!

We had summer temperatures last weekend and took advantage of it by hiking in the hills above Berkeley (or Orinda if you look East). If you look really hard you can see the Golden Gate Bridge in the background behind Alex.

Alex is officially closer to 3 than 2, having enjoyed his half birthday in the middle of March. He has all of the sudden started acting like it, too. We are happy to be moving forward with him - the terrible twos have been pretty difficult with our strong-willed little one struggling to make himself understood and frustrated when 'uh uh uh' doesn't cut the mustard. He is now using whole sentences and lots of words we actually understand. And he has learned to be patient for 15 or 20 seconds before dissolving into a tantrum when what he wants doesn't appear instantly. He took charge of the car keys recently and knows exactly which button locks and which unlocks the car. After doing his job of unlocking the car for us, he is happy to hurl the keys in the front door and onto the floor...luckily he hasn't insisted on driving yet.

We learned in February that his vision problems are likely more severe than we'd originally thought. In addition to the nystagmus that he was born with, he has damaged retinas (of unknown origin; though the eyes are healthy now he has scarring inside his eyes that is pulling the retinas across the macula). The retinal specialist we saw in February says he likely has no central vision and probably cannot fixate on an object with both eyes at the same time (since the damage is in a different place in each eye)...which means he likely lacks any kind of depth perception and probably has trouble with details (like facial expressions and identifying faces in general). We've spent the last couple of months in a self-directed crash course on visual impairment and have found all kinds of helpful folks in various online groups. What continues to amaze us is that, despite the dire diagnosis, Alex seems incredibly unencumbered by whatever vision he lacks. To watch him interact with the world you'd hardly know he has an impairment. This is both a good and a bad thing. Good that he is doing so well, despite his disability, but bad because we always have to remind ourselves - and others - that he needs different kinds of help when learning new things. (Like, he needs lots and lots of verbal clues. Remembering to be vocal has been a particular challenge. With our other children I perfected 'the look' that spoke volumes when they needed motherly intervention. Alex is oblivious to any 'look' I might give and forces me to express myself with words, something that doesn't always occur to me right away. So much for all that prior Mom experience.) We'd started work with the school district last Fall for Early Intervention services, and are in the throes of his first IEP (Individual Education Plan). We've also found a warm and caring Montessori school that he will start this summer. His in-home daycare provider has been perfect this last year, but it's now time for him to venture into the wider world of peers and teachers. Transitions are hard for Alex, so we'll be spending the month of June doing damage control. In the meantime, we're enjoying the spring in California.

Ocean Beach

We've had beautiful Spring weather this past week - sunny skies and warm enough for just a sweatshirt. We seized the opportunity and spent the afternoon riding trains to the beach. The trip there and back was as much fun for Alex as the destination was for us.

恭喜發財

Happy New Year!

Ella in action

Here's short video clip of Ella at 5 days old and her helpful 'brothers' coming to see what is up with the new arrival.

I have a good excuse

I've been on the other side of the country holding my first grandchild! Yes, it's true, my daughter had her baby girl and Alex is an uncle at the tender age of 2. Ella Cassady was born January 12th at 9:54 a.m., (Eastern Standard Time). Vitals: 6 lbs 14 oz and 20" long. Two days later I was there holding her! Five days after that I was headed home with tears in my eyes. She's much too far away. Congratulations Jill & Craig. Welcome to the world Ella!